Question by Karanime
I’m all for prostitution, but that’s a different topic altogether.
So, how about… What are some ways to motivate myself to do something out of this world, ambitious to the point of insanity?
I know exactly what to do, I just can’t get myself to do it. A lot of it is that I don’t believe it’ll get me where I want to be. Do you have any advice, or any step-by-step for this? Motivation’s always been a real problem for me. 
My answer:
Hi Erica,
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been having similar problems!
I cannot say that I have a perfect answer because if that were true, I wouldn’t have this website, but I would be swimming in money already 
But, I can share with you some of the things that have been working for me, and some of the things that haven’t.
What doesn’t work:
Most people seem to be of the idea that as long as you are passionate about something, the motivation will come by itself. This may be true for some people, but it sure doesn’t work like that for me!
So, just because you cannot motivate yourself doesn’t mean that you are not passionate about your goal or should look for another goal or life purpose.
Another thing that doesn’t work for me, is setting goals. For example, saying that I want to make x amount of money per week in 5 months. Doesn’t do anything for me. Doesn’t make me work, doesn’t motivate me. All it does is to make me feel bad about not reaching that goal.
Putting post its all over the house with my end goal on it doesn’t work either. For some reason it just makes me do even less and feel guilty about it at the same time.
What does work for me:
Baby steps.
Instead of goals I think of actions that I need to do. Not 100 actions before I get to my main goal, but 1 action I need to do before I can get to action number 2. I do have a vague idea in my mind about the main goal I want to reach, but it is more a fantasy that a realistic goal. It works for me, because if it is just fantasy, I don’t have to stress about it or worry about it.
I do not allow myself to think about action nr. 2 until I have completed action nr. 1. Once I have completed action nr. 1, I move on to action nr. 2, without thinking ahead about action nr. 3, 4, 5 etc.
This works for me, because when broken down into small action points it doesn’t seem as daunting. For example this website. I’ve had the idea in my head for a while of starting a website similar like this.
Then, the opportunity comes along where I have a good reason to start it. So, instead of thinking about everything, writing down goals in terms of visitors, money to make per month or week… I start with actions. First action: Sign up for WordPress. Done. Only now I think of action nr. 2. Pick out a template. Then I think of action nr. 3. Start writing the first page etc.
I make the action on purpose very small. For example, not “Write the first page” or even “Write all pages”, but simply “Start writing the first page”. I can do that. I may not finish, but I can start!
Once I’ve started, it is easier to make the next action: “continue writing the first page”. Etc. etc. until it is finished.
I almost never make an action that says “finish this” or “complete that”. For some reason the words I use in my actions help a lot, or harm a lot. When I put pressure on myself by using words like Finish or Complete, it doesn’t work. When I simply can “continue” without any pressure, I actually do finish things.
Celebrate!
Celebrate each and every small victory, no matter how small!! Even if you do only 1 action a day (even if it is simply turning on the computer, it is a start!) celebrate what you DID do, instead of feeling bad about what you didn’t do.
Some people get motivated by guiltying themselves into doing stuff… they feel so bad that they didn’t do anything the day before that this day, they do everything.
I’m not like that. If I feel guilty about something, it is more likely that I will never do it.
However, if I celebrate the small things that I do do, more often then not I will want to continue that flow of good feelings and will continue action by action until I am where I want to be.
A good example for this from my life is exercise. Eventually I want to get fit. If I don’t go to the gym and feel bad about it, I will do absolutely nothing about it. So, instead, I feel good because although I didn’t go to the gym, I did go for a walk today. And tomorrow, remembering how good it felt to go for a walk, I will go for another walk. Maybe a bit longer. And maybe in a few days I will go to the gym
Momentum
However weird it may sounds, the more I have to do, the more I get done. Most people feel overwhelmed when they have a busy schedule and use that as reasons to not do stuff. For me it is the other way around. When I have nothing to do, I do nothing When I have 50 things to do and am very busy, I do 100 things and feel very good about it.
Right now, I am creating things to do, such as scheduling my meals and cooking elaborately, in order to have a full schedule. This works very well for me, because action creates more action.
Those are some of the things that work for me. Maybe the things that don’t work for me, will be great for you. Or maybe not.
The main thing is to think about what you have done so far, think about the things that you have done that have been successful. What has been the common factor in those things?
Did you do them for somebody else? Start a mastermind group, or work together with some friends where you have accountability.
Did you do it because you just liked doing it? Find the actions that you can take towards your main goal that are fun to do!
Think about what has worked for you in the past and copy that into the present!
Good luck and I hope this has helped for you!!
Lots of love,
This was really fantastic advice Sandra. I like the question and answer format. I like baby steps too and not setting goals, works for me sort of. I do have goals though, but it’s not like a write them down and say, by this date I need to have done X. I just say them out a loud, and they sort of become part of me. So then when I look back I do actually say to myself, “huh, I did actually achieve x,y and z”.
A few additional questions and insights:
You know what you want to do, and that rocks. But if you’re honest with yourself, take a step back and all that — is it really about the things you want to do? Or do you actually care more about the results of those things or what you think the results will be? Which is the exciting part, the thing to do or the result you want to enjoy?
Are you sure you’re not skipping a step, invalidating where you are right now, when you’re saying “motivate myself… to the point of insanity”? That sounds a bit like you want to go from “not really motivated” to “super motivated all of the time”. Is that really the only way you want to experience the process of eventually arriving at “super motivated all the time”, with no steps in between? What if you just focus on that place you want to arrive at eventually in terms of motivation and then see what kinds of things come up that really do motivate you, even if the actual levels of motivation are relatively modest, though still an improvement over previous ones?
Have you actually considered trusting yourself? Your giving yourself the answer you need to hear most: Maybe you’re not motivated to do those things because they go against your beliefs of what it would take to get where you want to go? What if you would listen to yourself and let go of the things you think you need to do? If you were to relax your beliefs about what it would take to get where you want to be? And then see what ideas cross your mind that you actually feel kinda drawn to and see what happens if you actually take action on them, always to the degree that you’re capable to do it in that moment?
Happy asking, answering and experimenting!
… and here’s 5 affirmations that you can use to produce some more positive results:
1. I am open to be shown the adjustments I need to make to my beliefs about what actions it will take for me to enjoy the life I want to enjoy and I will embrace and make the adjustments as fully as I am able to.
2. I trust that I will experience the process in the way that will serve me best and there is no need to worry about making mistakes, worrying itself or missing something. I trust the process.
3. I trust that my imagination can bring me ideas for things to do that will bring me closer to my goals by changing my outer world and my goals closer to me by changing my inner world.
4. I allow things to happen in an ease-y and relaxed manner. Struggle can become a thing of the past more and more and I can find myself being motivated from the inside out, for no particular reason more and more.
5. I enjoy this process tremendously. I love the twists and turns life takes me through in order to teach me what I need to know and get me where I need to be. I let go of trying to control everything with my mind, relaxing into the knowing that everything will unfold just perfectly, just in time, just right… for me.